Read this!

It has been a crazy, crazy summer. My family and I have relocated to Georgetown, South Carolina, and we love it! We miss all of our dear friends in Reno, but we are certain that we're in God's will for our lives. In all of the business, I haven't had a chance to post anything, but I hope to get settled back into the groove of things soon.

In the meantime, Perry Noble nailed it in his blog about 14 Things That Jesus Did Not Say. You've got to read it and tell me what you think.

just drive

I was driving in my car the other day and my three-year-old daughter, Abby, was with me. We had been in the car for quite a while and I knew we would be picking up my older daughter from school soon, so I thought it would be a good idea to make sure that Abby didn't need a potty break. So, I asked, "Abby, do you need to go potty?" She didn't answer, so I asked again only this time a little more forcefully, "Abby, do you need to go potty?" Again...no answer. This pattern of asking and ignoring went on for a while until Abby finally couldn't stand it anymore. She barely looked up from the toy that had captured her attention and with a certain level of disgust said, "Just drive!"

After I stopped laughing, I began to think about that scenario. I realized that there are many, many times that I don't know what God is up to and I'm full of questions. I begin to storm heaven with a barrage questions: "What are you doing? Why is this happening? How are you going to fix this? Why won't you answer me?"

I think there are times when God looks at me and, like Abby, says, "Just drive!" He tells me to stop worrying about the mysteries of life, the timing of His will, and all my questions about the future, and says, "Just keep moving forward with what I've placed in front of you."

I'm learning how to learn to trust Him with all the uncertainties and unanswered questions of life. The key is to walk in obedience to the things I do know, and stop wasting my time and energy on the things I don't. I have a lot of questions about certain things in my life right now, but instead of worrying about those things, I think I'll just drive.

dying to live

I recently read The Fine Line by Kary Oberbrunner. In the latter portions of the book, Oberbrunner describes some of the trials that a friend of his, Mark Palmer, went through as he gave his life radically to Christ and His kingdom. Mark's story moved me deeply as I read about his gut-wrenching losses and physical battles that eventually claimed his life. In the last chapter of the book, Oberbrunner shared a journal entry posted by Mark. This journal entry touched me deeply and I want to share it with you:

Wednesday, February, 19th, 2003 11:07am
A long while ago my friend Joe Boyd from Vegas posted this on his journal, and I then posted it on mine. I rediscovered it in my paper journal last night, and it deserves a reposting. It continues to be an encouragement to me when I get beat up for doing what God has called me to do.
Expect pain.
Expect to be misunderstood.
Expect to be persecuted and expect it to come first from those who follow Jesus.
Expect to be maligned, attacked, and ridiculed from all sides.
Expect to grow tired and weary.
Expect to want to give up.
Expect to lose many old friends. Expect to lose all of your friends where the "church" is the central reason for your friendship. Only your deep and Christ-centered friendships wil endure.
Expect to be labeled (a freak, a hippie, a cult leader, a quitter, a fraud, an idealist, a purist, a heretic, a divider, a communist, a jerk, an egomaniac, a devil worshiper). Yes, I've been called them all to my face.
Expect to weep...deeper and stronger than you ever have.
Expect to doubt your calling, your convictions, your path, your faith, and your life.
Expect to be lonely.
Expect to be seen as utterly unsuccessful.
Expect to die...nothing will be left of you. You will cease to exist. The last things in you to die will be your desire to be great for God and your desire to be happy. And then, you will finally...
Live. Expect life. Expect meaning. Expect to finally understand the prophets and apostles. Expect to know Jesus and his life...for that is all that you will have...and that is all that you need.

When I read that, I realized that not everything inside of me that needs to die is dead. There's still too much "me" in me. There's too much in me that wants to be great. There's too much in me that wants credit for the good things that happen (although I don't seem to want the blame for the bad things). There's too much in me that clings to safety and security. There's too much in me that wants "the good life" (whatever that is). I want to know the life that comes through dying to myself. I want learn to let go of all the temporary things to which I cling. I want to experience His life and find that it is truly all I need. Jesus, help me...change my heart.

mad at god

If there's one thing you can count on in this life it's that kids will always say what's on their mind. I can't help but wonder why that always happens in a public place when they're commenting about someone they see. For example, when you're standing in line at the grocery store and someone has some type of visible difference, your child will inevitably ask about it...loudly and repeatedly. "Why does that man only have one leg?" "How come that lady has such a big nose?" "Why does that person stink?" "Why does that lady have so many pimples?"

My response to my children usually consists of something like, "I can't believe you said that! Wait until your parents hear about this!" To which, my children normally respond with looks of utter confusion as they fight to hold their heads upright in a futile attempt to avoid whiplash as I whisk them away to another line.

The honesty of children is both beautiful and horrifying. The transparency is beautiful because they share what they are thinking or feeling without fear of rejection, and yet it is horrifying because that kind of transparency can be painful. Pondering the honesty of children makes me think of a story about my oldest nephew, Daniel. When Daniel was only 4 or 5 years old, he was riding in the car with his mom, Debbie. As they were tooling along, Daniel, seemingly out of nowhere, piped up and announced, "I'm mad at God."

Most parents would respond with understandable horror and say something like, "Child! Watch what you say! If God wasn't so merciful you'd be nothing more than a spot on your car seat right now! Now you repent before God kills you!" Fortunately, Debbie was a lot smoother than that. She just played along to see where this conversation would go. She said, "Daniel, why are you mad at God?"

Daniel, with no small measure of irritation, replied, "'Cuz He took my sins away and I wanted to keep them!"

That story still makes me chuckle nearly twenty years later, but then I'm forced to admit that I am a lot like Daniel. There are things inside of me from which I claim to want freedom - sins of anger, sins of unforgiveness, sins of selfishness, sins of pride and arrogance, sins of idolatry (where I want God's stuff more than I want Him). It's all there and I consistently make the claim that I want to be free from those things. But when push comes to shove, when God tries to work on those areas, when He tries to bring the freedom that I claim to want so badly, it's really easy to say, "No thanks. I think I want to keep that one."

I don't think I'm alone. I think most of us have a few things that we're either afraid to surrender or we are simply too stubborn to let go. Maybe it's time to stop getting mad at God for trying to heal us and let Him kill those things in our lives that are killing us. It's just a thought.